Ever Wonder

It has come to the point that every time AF shows up i become extremely depressed. I just want to lock myself up in my room away from everyone and just scream and cry. I know this is not right or normal, but yet I can't help it. I start to wonder: what if I don't ovulate that month? what if the meds don't work? what if they find something during testing before I even get meds? What if I run out of eggs? what if we run out of money? what if we never can adopt? what if I never hear someone call me mommy? Sorry I this my be a little extreme, but anyone suffering from infertility knows you just need to vent sometimes. unless you gage a friend going through it with you, it can be very difficult.You don't want to burden people you know that are not going through IF, but yet you don't want to expose your greatest fears to strangers.

Devastated

I'm not really sure how to start this blog, other than once again, I've been in a crying fit. 1st: although I love them dearly and I knew they were trying for baby #2, I've learned that my sibling-in-laws are expecting. I'm happy because like I said I really do love them, but I can't help but have that feeling of "why not me?!". Not to mention we have yet to receive the results of the third SA and DH bloodwork. I may just have a breakdown if the results are not great. Not sure how much more I can take........... I've prayed, prayed, and prayed, not sure what else to