Everything happens for a reason

Well a couple of months back I got really upset because we had to put off our IUI due to my DH horrible SA results. Well I forgot to post the new results, but everything was fine: 60 million little swimmers, shapes were normal, blodwork normal(can't remember everything)!! We were so happy and breathed a sigh of releif,but still no pregnancy! Well we've been going through the process of buying a home and I have to say this is so stressful. I just thought the other day if we had done the IUI when scheduled I would be putting this stress on myself and our baby! I guess my DH "not feeling" the testing that day was a blessing in disguise. We've been either out bid or sellers didn't want to agree to anything we wanted, plus going from home to home was just way too much. I'm glad to say we should be closing in about 3 weeks and we've decided to go on with IUI next month! By the time that rolls around, we will be closed and settle in to our new home, so NO stress just prayers and baby dust!!! So I know sometimes we try so hard to stay in control and plan out everything in our lives, but guess what "ish happens" and sometimes we need the ish to make the grass green :-)

Ever Wonder

It has come to the point that every time AF shows up i become extremely depressed. I just want to lock myself up in my room away from everyone and just scream and cry. I know this is not right or normal, but yet I can't help it. I start to wonder: what if I don't ovulate that month? what if the meds don't work? what if they find something during testing before I even get meds? What if I run out of eggs? what if we run out of money? what if we never can adopt? what if I never hear someone call me mommy? Sorry I this my be a little extreme, but anyone suffering from infertility knows you just need to vent sometimes. unless you gage a friend going through it with you, it can be very difficult.You don't want to burden people you know that are not going through IF, but yet you don't want to expose your greatest fears to strangers.

Devastated

I'm not really sure how to start this blog, other than once again, I've been in a crying fit. 1st: although I love them dearly and I knew they were trying for baby #2, I've learned that my sibling-in-laws are expecting. I'm happy because like I said I really do love them, but I can't help but have that feeling of "why not me?!". Not to mention we have yet to receive the results of the third SA and DH bloodwork. I may just have a breakdown if the results are not great. Not sure how much more I can take........... I've prayed, prayed, and prayed, not sure what else to

The Results

Well we received the results from DH's SA on Tuesday and I've been a crying fit since. If you read the previous post, you know my hubby said he would most likely have to re-do the SA. Well he was right because he received only 7.9 mobility(20million is normal). Plus doc wants to do some blood/hormone testing on him. I don't know why I'm so upset, I already had an idea that the results weren't going to be great, but I just KNEW this was our month to start IUI procedures. Since doc is requesting more testing we decided it was best to put off the IUI, JUST IN CASE, there really is a problem. I'm just so down, but the hubby reassured that all is fine it was just his discomfort. Not sure why it happened this way, but since I have been praying everyday about this, it must all be in God's plan. I will not question him, but will continue to put it in his hands. As they say "if you want to make God laugh, just tell Him YOUR plans" LOL.......So after we re-do DH testing(we are going to do SA collection at home for more comfort)I will return with those results. There is a part of me that wants everything to be fine like previous SA, but a part that thinks well if there is something wrong at least we know what it is and how to correct it. I swear this unexplained infertility is CRAZY. You're glad there's nothing wrong with you, but then mad that there's nothing wrong with you and you can't get pregnant!!!!

SA

So on Wednesday, the hubby went in for his second SA(semen analysis). He went in for a second time because our doc requested that he have it re-done since he had it done awhile ago. Let me explain: After about a year and half of ttc, my ob/gyn requested that I do an OPK(ovulation predicator kit) for 3 months to make sure I was indeed ovulating. I was EVERY month, so then we moved on to HSG(hysterosalpingogram), which showed that my tubes are open. Then she requested that the hubby have a SA done, which everything was fine with that also(can't remember the exact numbers)!! UUUUGGGGHHH so we continue to ttc on our own, since we have everything working properly, but still no baby!! WHY??!!!! So that brings us to our first appointment with fertility specialist in July 2011 to start with more testing. Anywho since we're really going in for IUI, if Aunt Flow doesn't show up, Doc wants a new SA. After hubby comes out he informes me that he thinks the results won't be that great since alot didn't come out :-(. He said it's very difficult to do that while you can hear people out in the hall working. So we're waiting the 4-5 days for the results and God willing everything will be okay just like last time. I don't see why I wouldn't, unless he really didn't produce enough. Will update when we receive results....keeping my fingers crossed!

SIGH

Hello guys! So I asked my doc what she thought about just starting out with clomid and I kinda got some so-so news. She stated she didn't recommend it since the success rate with just clomid is not substantially higher, but if I wanted we could do 2 cycles then move on to IUI(if those 2 cylces don't work). I wanted to start out with clomid because well let's be honest....IT"S CHEAPER(so we thought)!! But I have to come in for all the ultrasounds and bloodwork(that are not covered by insurance) that we might as well just go straight in for IUI. Plus with our ages and being "unexplained infertility" our chances of getting pregnant with clomid and IUI, looks pretty good. So looks like if God doesn't bless us this cycle(I'm in day 11) with a beautiful baby, He will next month when we go in for IUI!! I KNOW HE WILL BLESS US BEFORE THE YEAR IS OVER!!

Do you tell?

Have you told anyone about your struggle with getting pregnant? Do your parents know? What about siblings, friends, or co workers? I finally told my mother the other day that we are currently seeing a reproductive specialist and going in for treatment next month. She was excited and had alot of questions at the same time. She has informed me that she is REALLY ready for a grandchild lol. Even if they're adopted, which totally made me cry! So talk to someone besides your husband/partner, you have more support than you think. And sometimes it's good not to stress the hubby out so much.